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Looking for girlfriend > Russian > Me and my boyfriend are so similar

Me and my boyfriend are so similar

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By Anjula Mutanda, author of How to do Relationships. A lot people think of compatibility as something fixed and formulaic, often basing it on stuff like having similar personalities or hobbies and interests in common. Compatibility is enriched by how much time you spend together, how much you're both willing to give and take and by your willingness to work together as a team. Of course, it does help if you start off with certain things in common, but this is much more likely to be stuff like your values, beliefs and ideas - things that matter deep down. And even then, any relationship requires constant nuturing to maintain a strong connection. If you're worried about how compatible you and your partner are, our quiz can help.

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Quiz: Are you and your partner compatible?

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From good listening skills to not holding you back, there are many signals your partner likes you. For the rest of us, modern dating is a minefield. With so much available choice, how are you supposed to know if someone is right for you? When should you stop over-thinking and finally commit? Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. Dating someone who is happy with their life means they can be happy for you and alongside of you. Keep in mind that your intuition may send out warnings as well.

It may come as a gut reaction. For example, if your partner wants to change you in any way. If that happens, run. Ask yourself: Do they get along with the other people in my life? Do I get along with their friends and family? Do we have mutual interests and things that we enjoy doing together that can be a source of sustainability in a relationship?

If the answer is yes, then you may be on the right track. They also remember things that you have told them about yourself. If they are not interested now at the beginning of the relationship, they are likely to be even less interested later on. Couples who each truly place the needs and wants of their partners on par with or above their own seem handle a lifetime of compromising, juggling priorities, and collaborating better than couples who individually pursue their own best interests.

Are they compassionate? Are they attentive? It may seem simple but this is a very important trait to know what kind of human being the person is.

They could show signs of narcissism. Although later, you may think you were over-reacting, it may be just as important to know you were being listened to in the onset. Some women prefer the man to take charge.

Some women want the man to be more passive. In healthy relationships, growth is very important, generally in the same direction, so you need to be able to have arguments, and conflicts and points of disagreements without killing each other.

So I think it starts at a very subtle level, to listen to that sense that maybe something is wrong here and just keeping yourself aware of that voice. So it can seem cruel to ask yourself, if anything were wrong here, what would I select first about what might be wrong?

But when you give yourself permission to ask that question, then the intuition and the hunches can come back. Then great, get on with loving them. But ask yourself that question, and give yourself permission to consider those other things. It can salvage your intuition and that part of you for good reason, although that may not be comfortable.

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Why Do So Many Couples Look Alike? Here’s the Psychology Behind the Weird Phenomenon

In an ideal world, what would your soulmate be like? I used to think the term "soulmate" implied that it was one soul in two bodies, meaning the two of you would be very similar. However, I think there's also something to be said about dating someone who's essentially your opposite. My boyfriend is nothing like me, and I think it works in that it gives us a chance to learn from each other and grow.

All rights reserved. For reprint rights: Times Syndication Service.

From good listening skills to not holding you back, there are many signals your partner likes you. For the rest of us, modern dating is a minefield. With so much available choice, how are you supposed to know if someone is right for you? When should you stop over-thinking and finally commit?

Pros and cons of having a partner who is just like you

She bore a striking resemblance to her then-boyfriend, Greg — from their hair colors and complexions down to their facial expressions — and for years, people had commented that they looked related. Their worries turned out to be for nothing, and the New Hampshire couple married last year. Lookalike couples have captured public fascination for years. Back in , scientists from the University of Michigan set out to study the phenomenon of married couples who grow to look more alike over time. Their theory, which scientists still cite today, was that decades of shared emotions result in a closer resemblance due to similar wrinkles and expressions. But how do so many lookalikes end up together in the first place? Despite the old notion that opposites attract, Indianapolis-based social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want , says people naturally gravitate toward people who are familiar, even though the whole process is likely subconscious. That phenomenon extends to appearance.

Should You Date Someone Similar To You? 14 Women Reveal How They Feel About It

If you're looking for long-term relationship success, finding someone you're compatible with is key. Although not entirely impossible, being in a relationship with someone who's completely different from you in every way can make things a little more challenging. According to matchmakers, there are certain sets of incompatible qualities between partners that are much more likely to lead to relationship failure than success. Other more subtle incompatibilities, she says, are seen in each person's values. For instance, someone who cares about honesty is unlikely to be happy with someone who's constantly lying.

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The 15 Incompatible Qualities That End Relationships, According To Matchmakers

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 14 Psychological Tricks to Get the Partner You Want

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Sep 26, - Are we attracted to those who are similar to us? Yet, we also seem to fall in love with those who are similar, so that we can have fair and balanced relationships. if those different traits or opinions are not central to your life and beliefs. When me and my boyfriend first started dating it was because we.

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